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"Failure can be very motivating if it's looked on as a chance to improve next time, " says Elizabeth Hartley Brewer. "We don't want our children to feel unloved or devastated by a bad mark, but it's healthy to feel disappointed or annoyed by one if you think you can do better

"Get your child to feel a sense of achievement for working hard, for making progress, for being an active member of a team, or purely for enjoying something." says Elizabeth Hartley Brewer. And encourage her to benchmark herself against her own past performance, not the performance of others.

"Tackle problem areas one step at a time, " advises Elizabeth Hartley Brewer. "Discuss which subject she'd like to focus on, and get her to think of some simple steps for improving in that subject next term. The following term she can choose something else. Appreciate progress, not perfection."